When a Heart Breaks
by asupercooladieu
Summary: Luke has spent the two weeks following his breakup with Lorelai pretending to be okay... until she calls him. Post-Partings - Slightly AU - Formerly published as a one-shot, now including an epilogue!
1. Breakeven

When a Heart Breaks

Songfic – Breakeven by The Script

Authors Note: This story is a little bit AU in the sense that Lorelai and Luke have not spoken since the night of the ultimatum, the rest should be explained within!

Disclaimer: It's all made up and the points don't matter. I borrowed a little bit of dialogue from The Long Morrow, but it's in different context.

* * *

 **I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even**

In the fourteen days that passed since the ultimatum, Luke tried his hardest to fill his time as if nothing had ever happened. He reverted to the days before he'd met Lorelai Gilmore, before she became his fiancée, his girlfriend, or even his friend. He pretended she had never existed in his world.

But that was just for show.

In the diner, he took orders, filled coffee, flipped burgers and forced his usual monosyllabic small talk.

He was friendly to Lane, who always seemed to look at him with sad, knowing eyes.

He was cordial to his long-time employee, Caesar, who though he never said anything to the effect, always seemed to enjoy the increase in hours and pay when Luke was going through a hard time and was less active in his daily duties.

He was even kind to Babette and Patty, who had been coming into the diner at least twice a day, waiting for the meltdown everyone had been expecting from Luke. Really, just waiting for Luke to show any sort of emotion at all. But, he never did.

Every night when he closed the diner, he ascended the narrow stairs two at a time, grabbed a cold beer from his fridge and sat in his favorite armchair. He took exactly two swigs of his beer, placed it on the coffee table in front of him, took his head in his hands and did something that before Lorelai, he rarely did. He cried.

He cried because she betrayed him that night. He cried because he'd overheard a conversation in the market, where two townies had said that Lorelai and Christopher had rekindled their relationship that night. He cried because his heart was broken.

And after a few minutes, he pulled himself together, finished his beer in one gulp, took a cold shower and went to bed.

 **Her best days were some of my worst  
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first  
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping  
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no**

He lied awake most nights because everything reminded him of her. He still slept on "his side" of the queen-sized bed he'd bought for them to share. He'd since moved the small television set he'd bought for her into the closet, as even that reminded him of her.

A couple of times, when he did fall asleep, he didn't set an alarm in an attempt to sleep in. On those days, he was immediately awoken by the smell of freshly brewed coffee from downstairs. It was the first thing Caesar did when he opened the diner in the morning. That reminded him of her the most. On days when that happened, he'd often considered starting his day the same way he ended the one before, with a beer. But he never did. He was Luke Danes, after all. All predictable flannel, two-day stubble and responsibility. Instead, he drank a glass of orange juice and went to work.

On this particular day, two weeks following the ultimatum, Luke rose from his too big bed and dressed for the day as usual, but instead of throwing on his jeans and trademarked flannel, he reached for a grey Henley shirt he'd never seen before and walked over to his nightstand. He took his favorite blue baseball cap in his hands, took a breath, walked back over to his closet and placed the hat on the top shelf. He then grabbed a black one with a snap back enclosure that he hadn't seen in years. He hadn't worn it since long before Lorelai had given him his favorite blue one for Christmas in 2000. He placed the black hat on his head.

When he walked downstairs into the diner, there was a decent sized crowd, but Lane and Caesar had it covered. Each of them bid good morning to their boss before going back to their duties. Luke fell right into step with them, filling coffees, chatting idly with everyone. He even cracked a smile once. If she was going to move on, as he thought she did, he could at least pretend he was okay.

* * *

 **What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces**

Meanwhile, Lorelai walked through the town square on her way to work. She'd stopped at Weston's for a cup of sub-par coffee and a Danish, and now made her way through the town square. Her eyes were still red, the dark circles under them told a sad story of more than a few sleepless nights and she wore her hair in a low ponytail, an effortless style.

She had been running on autopilot for the last fourteen days and each day when she crossed the square with her crappy coffee from Weston's, she looked through the gazebo into the diner.

Some days, all she saw was Lane and Caesar hustling around the breakfast rush. On those days, she walked with purpose to the Dragonfly and went about her day. On other days, she would peer into the window from afar and catch a glimpse of Luke.

Today, though, she saw Luke, fresh-shaven in his grey Henley shirt that she'd purchased without telling him, wearing a hat she recognized from the back of his closet. Today, she turned on her heel, threw her lackluster coffee in the nearest trashcan and went home.

Days like today reminded her of what a horrible mistake she'd made. Days like today made her want to crawl into a DeLorean and rev the engine up to eighty-eight miles per hour. She wanted desperately to go back in time. Days like today made her regret the very moment she gave him that ultimatum.

 **They say bad things happen for a reason  
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding  
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving  
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even... no  
What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?  
I'm falling to pieces…**

When Lorelai reached the crap shack, that didn't seem so crappy anymore (thanks the renovations, Luke suggested and carried out) she let out a huge sigh of relief. She gave Paul Anka a quick pet before climbing the stairs to her bedroom, _their bedroom._ She didn't bother undressing before she got into bed. She reached onto the nightstand and picked up the phone.

"Hey, mom! Shouldn't you be at the inn?" Rory answered, concerned.

"I just maybe need a couple more days of wallowing, sweetie." She choked back a sob and regained her composure. "I'm sorry, hon. I know you're busy, I'll let you go. I'm fine, really."

"Mom, do you need me to come home? We can order from Al's and watch movies and wallow if that's what you need." Rory's heart broke for her mother; she had never seen the woman she built up as so strong, come tumbling down so hard. This was worse than the first time Lorelai and Luke split up, by a landslide. "I don't mind," She continued. "I can be there in thirty minutes."

"No, no, no. You stay put. You have other things to worry about. I'm being ridiculous. I'm golden. I'll stay home today, eat some ice cream and be fine for tomorrow. No worries, babe. I'll talk to you later."

"Hey mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't call dad, okay? It may seem like a good idea now, but it isn't. Deep down you know that."

"I know."

"Call me again later if you need anything at all."

"I will, later hon."

They both hung up and Lorelai continued to lay motionless. After a while, she shot a text to Sookie and Michel explaining that she wouldn't, no couldn't, come in to work today. _Need another day._ She said, _Sorry._ They both understood.

Even Michel replied, _Take all the time you need._ Lorelai was grateful.

That day she spent what felt like eternity staring up at her ceiling. After several bouts of tears, she shook off the sadness and picked up her phone again. She was suddenly furious. She dialed the all too familiar number.

"Luke's," he answered, calmly. No inflection, no emotion, almost as if the sound were programmed into a computer.

"How are you doing it?" She asked.

"Who is this?"

"Who is this? Really? It's me, Luke. How the hell are you doing it?" She shouted, growing more fiercely angry with every syllable.

"Lorelai? How am I doing what?" He was genuinely confused, and sounded it.

She was so mad she didn't notice the way his voice cracked when he said her name, or the hurt in his voice when he spoke to her. "How do you wake up in the morning and go about your day like nothing ever happened? It's been two weeks, Luke; we were together for more than two years. We were friends for eight years before that! I don't understand how you can wake up every morning with a smile on your face and go about your day, business as usual? What the hell is that about?"

"You've got to be kidding me." He replied, exasperated.

 **Oh, you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain  
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.  
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, ooh  
'Cause you left me with no love and honour to my name.  
**

"I'm not kidding, Luke. I don't get it. Two weeks ago, we were engaged and now you're traipsing around the diner like… like, frankly, like you don't give a damn."

"Like I don't give a damn?" Luke looked around, becoming acutely aware of his surroundings. The lunch rush was whizzing around him, and suddenly all eyes were on him. "Where are you?" He brought his voice down.

"Excuse me?"

"I am not going to stand here in the middle of the diner and argue with you over the phone. Where are you? Are you at home?"

"Yes." She said.

"I'll be right over." He slammed down the receiver and grabbed the keys to his truck.

 **I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break...  
No, it don't break  
No, it don't break even**

The whole drive to Lorelai's house Luke thought about what he would say to her. He carefully considered each syllable until he reached the front door. He knocked on the door, something he hadn't had to do in almost a year, as after they'd gone through renovations, she assured him that it was his house, too. Lorelai appeared quickly, and let him inside.

"So, you want to know how I'm doing it, huh?" Luke said as he rushed passed her, into the living room. He placed his hands on his hips and began to pace in front of the coffee table.

Lorelai sat on the couch and watched him, when she had called him earlier, she didn't expect to see him. She didn't prepare herself for the rush of emotions that would hit her as soon as she let him inside the house, smelling his intoxicating scent of aftershave and coffee. So, she stayed silent, battling the emotions in her head.

"I don't do it, Lorelai. I'm goddamn miserable. I'm just running through the motions, you know." He took a breath and stopped pacing. "A car ran into my diner two weeks ago. That Saturday morning, after you… after we… Anyway, it was a disaster. I didn't care. I mean—I cared, but… Anyway it's fixed now and I still don't care. It's like it wasn't even real to me, Lorelai. It's like my life isn't even real to me unless you're there, you're in it, I'm sharing it with you."

She didn't say anything back. The conversation she thought they were going to have and the words he was saying to her were not at all one in the same.

"I'm sorry, Lorelai. I was scared when you came to me that night, I was terrified and I am the kind of guy who has to process things. I didn't have even a second to process what was going on, and then the next day… I'm in Doose's and there are two people—who I don't think I've ever even seen before—talking about how you'd gotten back together with Christopher. I just stood there like an idiot in the middle of the market, thinking…. I thought were going to be okay. We had a fight, I let you walk away to cool down and boy was I wrong. You went to him, Lorelai and I didn't even have a chance."

Finally, she interrupted, "I didn't go to him, Luke."

"What?"

"That night, after our fight, I went to the last place you'd look for me. Honestly, I wasn't even sure you were going to look for me, but I didn't want to be found. I went to my parent's house. I told my mom earlier that week about the issues we'd been having, and it just made sense at the time, though now it seems absolutely asinine. When I got home the next morning, Babette was in my kitchen, feeding Paul Anka and I guess some people had seen us fighting. Anyway, she kept bugging me about how everything was going to be fine between us; she said we just needed to cool off. I was done, Luke. I was so done. So I told her that I went to Chris's. I didn't want people talking, and Chris came with Rory and I to Lane's wedding, so the continuity was there. But it wasn't true."

"You didn't spend the night with him?"

"No."

"You haven't spoken to him since we've been apart?"

"He's called. We've talked. He's not what I want."

"What _do_ you want, Lorelai?" Luke asked, after a moment.

 **What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?**

"You know the answer to that, Luke."

"I don't, Lorelai, I don't know the answer. But I'll tell you this: I want you. I choose you. You were right, I need to be faster, think faster, and move faster. Here I am, lightening speed. I'm here and I want you." He paused, taking his uncomfortable hat off of his head and running his hands through his hair. "If you don't want me, Lorelai, you have to tell me now because I can't doing this. If I need to move on, say the word."

"I don't want to be done, Luke. I want a fresh start; I want to meet your kid, to know her… I want you. God, I want you." Tears welled up in her eyes again, "But I need to know that you aren't going to compartmentalize me again. I love you, Luke, but I need to know that you love me, too. I need to hear it sometimes."

"I love you, Lorelai. I'm in this. I am all in."

Luke took Lorelai's hands and pulled her up so they were face to face. His right hand moved swiftly to her hip, and his left to her cheek. He wiped a stray tear with his thumb as he pulled her into a kiss. She immediately responded by wrapping her arms around him, as if no time had passed at all.

 **I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in…**

* * *

Thanks for reading to the end; reviews are always appreciated! **  
**


	2. Eternal Flame

Epilogue: Eternal Flame

I had originally planned to leave this story as a one-shot, but I recently started writing another story and got stuck at a plot point. From there, my mind wandered and this is what came out.

* * *

In the months following the reconciliation between Stars Hollow's favorite couple, things between them had been returned entirely to normal. They had made great strides to include one another in their lives, fully and wholly.

No longer hiding his budding relationship with his daughter, Luke introduced Lorelai, in an official capacity, to April. As he'd suspected, the two got along famously, but Lorelai continued to tread carefully. She respected Luke's desire to get to know April on his own and so the arrangement became such that Lorelai no longer needed to avoid the diner when April was around, but she often found herself busy at the Inn until close to dinner time, when she would meet the pair for dinner.

Lorelai, in light of the misunderstanding about her too-close relationship with Christopher explained to Luke the role he played during the debacle at Lane's wedding, after first disclosing the real story. Though the Endless Love ballad narrative concocted by a well-meaning Miss. Patty proved to be a band-aid for the issues surrounding the Gilmore-Danes engagement, Lorelai felt that in the new leg of their journey together, honesty would be the best way to push forward. After a brief argument on the matter, Luke and Lorelai agreed they would no longer hide things from each other (for real, this time). Lorelai was also sure to ask Christopher, the next time he called, to try his hardest to maintain their relationship as nothing other than mutual parents to Rory. Their friendship, though he would never confirm, made Luke uncomfortable.

In short, things were going well. So well, that as quickly as June third came and went, wedding planning had resumed. Sookie, the self proclaimed BFOTB (best friend of the bride) made sure that every detail was perfectly planned. Lorelai purchased a new dress, and a new date was set. On December 9th, 2006 Lorelai Gilmore would officially become Lorelai Gilmore-Danes.

As the fall came and went, Lorelai's anticipation for her upcoming nuptials rose. She found herself following the actions that her mother had described of her own pre-wedding routine, trying her dress on any time Luke was closing the diner, or out with April.

* * *

When December 9th finally came and the sun began peeking through the curtains in Lorelai's bedroom, she shifted as her slumber slowly lifted. She brought her right hand to her eyes to wipe some of the sleep away. She used her other hand to reach out for Luke, but she came up empty. Instead, she found a handwritten yellow post-it note. _Coffee's made, breakfast is in the oven. Can't wait to see you. -Luke._

Lorelai smiled and swung her legs out over the bed, wearing nothing but her favorite of Luke's flannel, she grabbed a pair of sweatpants from her bureau and put them on.

As she reached the bottom of her stairs, she was surprised to be hearing chatter coming from the kitchen.

"Mom! You're up awfully early." Rory said with a sweet smile.

"Lorelai, you should really have slept a few more hours. You want to look your best today, of all days!" Emily lectured, over her steaming cup of coffee.

Lorelai took in the scene before her, Rory in a set of ridiculous cupcake adorned pajamas and her mother sipping out of a Betty Boop coffee mug, sitting at her kitchen table at seven o'clock ion the morning. "Nice mug, mom. There's a matching spoon somewhere."

"I'm quite fine with just the mug, Lorelai. Would you like some coffee?"

"Absolutely. Luke said there was breakfast in the oven, too?"

"Did you call him?" Rory asked, "I specifically told him no contact until the wedding!"

"No, Officer Krupke, he left me a note. No broken rules, here!" Lorelai poured herself a cup of coffee and pulled the plate of pancakes out of the oven. "Where's April?"

"Apparently, Jess isn't getting in from Philadelphia until noon, so when Luke was getting ready to leave this morning, April decided to go and keep him company."

"Sweet girl." Lorelai smiled, piling a plate with chocolate chip pancakes.

"Honestly, Lorelai. You aren't going to fit into your dress!" Emily snarled.

Lorelai cut into her pancakes, jabbed one with her fork and looked over to make eye contact with her mother. Emily simply sighed in defeat.

* * *

Luke had left the house before sunrise, with all intentions of heading over to the long abandoned apartment above the diner to get a few more hours of sleep. With April in tow, he lugged his tuxedo and a small duffel bag of toiletries up the stairs and set his belongings in the bathroom. After hanging his tux in the empty closet, he walked back into the apartment to find April already curled up on what used to be her bed, sound asleep. Unfortunately, Luke was not having the same luck. As he put his head on the familiar pillow, he found himself immediately reaching for what would be Lorelai's side of the bed.

Since the night of their reconciliation, what seemed like so many months ago, they hadn't spent a single night apart. Though it had taken several weeks for Luke to finally move all of his belongings to Lorelai's house, they were sure to never go to sleep without each other.

A notion that was proving particularly troubling for Luke as he watched the clock strike 5:44.

* * *

After breakfast time began to move more swiftly as the pre-wedding activities began. At noon Lorelai, Rory, and Emily met up with Sookie and April to have manicures and pedicures and before their knew it, it was three o'clock and they were getting their hair set. Lorelai had invited Liz and Lane to join in the prenuptial festivities, but both ladies were occupied with their new babies.

Meanwhile, Luke, Jess and TJ (to Luke's obvious dismay) had moved on to the Dragonfly's Groom's Suite, where they spent most of the day sipping beers and teasing Luke for how long it took him to finally get Lorelai to the aisle.

When April was all dressed and ready for the ceremony, she bid the girls farewell and went to join her dad's side of the wedding party. Luke had asked her to serve as his Best Man, much like Rory had in the renewal of Emily and Richards vows.

Finally, seven o'clock approached and Luke and his groomsman were escorted across the Dragonfly property to a stretch of land that only a select few people knew existed up until that point. Though it was generally thought to be too cold in Connecticut for an outdoor winter wedding, Lorelai's careful planning included space heaters and blankets for all of the guests.

Before beginning his descent down the snowy aisle, Luke looked around to appreciate what a wonderful job Lorelai, Sookie, and Emily had done. The aisle marked by candlelit mason jars led directly up to the largest oak tree on the Dragonfly's acreage. He smiled as he noticed Liz sitting in the front row, with baby Doula wrapped in a blanket in her lap. To her left were two empty seats with candles and a single rose on each, a tribute to Luke's departed parents. To Liz's right sat Buddy and Maisy, his parent's oldest friend's. Scattered throughout both sides of the aisle he noticed Lane and her twin boys seated with Mrs. Kim, Zack was waiting just to the side of the altar, an acoustic guitar in hand to play the music for the ceremony. He saw Mia and Howard, Miss. Patty, Babette and Morey. Even Taylor had come. A sense of calm washed over him, as April reached for his hand.

"You can't possibly be nervous, Dad." She deadpanned.

A smile quickly washed over Luke's face, "Not nervous." He shook his head, "This is a long time coming, is all. It didn't look like it was going to happen there for a minute." April offered him a warm smile, just as Reverend Skinner caught her eye. She released her father's hand and instead placed it on his back.

"It's time!" She said excitedly. Luke offered a curt nod and linked his arm around his daughter's. They walked together as Zack strummed his guitar. Jess and TJ followed shortly after.

After a few minutes, Luke began to tense as the bridesmaids began to walk down the aisle. First, Sookie in a flowing chiffon gown in a delicate light blue. She smiled brightly at Luke, before taking her place at the aisle. Rory came next, dressed in the same blue chiffon that Sookie wore. Luke made a mental note to tell Lorelai how beautifully the bridesmaid dresses were turned out, knowing that she'd spent days cutting, sewing and putting them together.

Finally, the music shifted. Rather than the traditional wedding march, Lorelai had insisted on something different. Something unique to her. True to form, Luke chuckled, shook his head and smiled as Zack began playing The Bangles' Eternal Flame. Though he would never admit it, he could easily follow along with the lyrics in his head.

 _Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling_

 _Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand? Do you feel the same?_

 _Am I only dreaming, is this burning an eternal flame?_

 _I believe it's meant to be, darling_

 _I watch you when you are sleeping. You belong with me. Do you feel the same?_

 _Am I only dreaming, or is this burning an eternal flame?_

Luke could feel tears brimming his eyes when he saw Lorelai for the first time. Her hair long and flowing in loose curls down her shoulders and back, pinned slightly back on one side. Her makeup minimal, natural, just the way he liked it. And her dress, white, at his request, but different entirely than the first dress he'd accidentally walked in on her wearing what seemed like a lifetime ago. This dress was simple, and elegant, and perfect for her. Thick lace all over, a short train, cinched at the waist and delicately flowing out into a subtle mermaid. Lorelai look beautiful as ever, and Luke could not take his eyes off of her.

 _Say my name, sun shines through the rain_

 _A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain_

 _I don't want to lose this feeling, oh_

 _Say my name, sun shines through the rain_

 _A whole life so lonely, and then you can and ease the pain_

 _I don't want to lose this feeling, oh_

Lorelai walked gracefully down the aisle on the arm of her father, never breaking eye contact with Luke. She could feel the tears slowly falling through her dark eye lashes. It was truly difficult to believe that this moment had finally come.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" Reverend Skinner asked as Lorelai and Richard settled at the altar.

Richard smiled down at his daughter and said proudly, "She gives herself, with the blessing of her daughter, her mother, and her father." With that, he brought himself to his seat. Luke reached out for Lorelai's hands, she quickly wiped a stray tear, handed her bouquet to Rory, and gave them to him.

"Welcome everybody," Reverend Skinner began, "We are thrilled that so many of you could make it here today. One of my personal favorite things about a wedding is that it also serves as a reunion of family and friends. It always pleases me to know that people are willing to travel far and wide to be here on a day like this, for an event like this. After all, we all know how long we've been waiting for this day to come." The crowd collectively chuckled.

He continued, "Before we begin, we would like to acknowledge the spiritual presence of some fine individuals. We feel the presence of Luke's parents, William and Katherine Danes, and take joy in knowing how thrilled they would be to see their son marry the great love of his life, Lorelai."

"We all know that Luke and Lorelai have faced tumultuous moments in their love story, but we as the citizens of Stars Hollow have held out hope that one day these two would find their true happiness in each other. Today is that day, and so let us begin."

"Lorelai, repeat after me: I, Lorelai Gilmore, take you, Luke Danes, to be my husband. I promise to give you respect, love and loyalty through all the trials and triumphs of our lives together." Through her bright smile, Lorelai managed to repeat her part without breaking eye contact with Luke. "You may now place Luke's ring on his finger."

"Now, Luke, please repeat after me: I, Luke Danes, take you Lorelai Gilmore to be my wife." Luke straightened up his back, took a deep breath and repeated the words. Reverend Skinner continued, "I promise to always pour the coffee, make you pie, and gripe less about your eating habits."

"Lorelai!" Luke interrupted as the crowd began to giggle.

"Those are the vows, Luke! You said I could help write the ceremony." She winked at him.

"Fine, I promise to always pour the coffee, make you pie, and gripe less about your eating habits. Even though they're outrageous."

"Compromising already, good man, Luke." Reverend Skinner added. "You may now place Lorelai's ring on her finger. By the power vested in me, it is an honor, a pleasure and a relief to finally declare you husband and wife. Luke, you may kiss your bride!"

 _Close your eyes, give me your hand_

 _Do you feel my heart beating?_

 _Do you understand, do you feel the same?_

 _Am I only dreaming or is this burning an eternal flame?_

As Luke pulled Lorelai closer to him, he swiped a stray hair from her face and whispered, "Before this is all final, I just want you to know that I will never stop griping about your eating habits."

"Deal." She said, smiling. They kissed, the crowd cheered, and the rest is written in the stars.

* * *

Fin. - For real, this time!

Let me tell you, I was absolutely not planning on writing the wedding, but when the song popped into my head, I had to.

All credit for the words spoken during the ceremonial part of the wedding go to theknot . com

Hope you enjoyed it! xx


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